Hey guys! Its Lydia here. Sorry I haven't posted in a few weeks, I've been extremely busy with school work. But here's a poem I wrote yesterday. Leave me a comment if you enjoyed it or perhaps one on how it could be improved.
“Sir, sir, the soldiers, they ain’t right in the head.
The doctors say they got Shellshock.”
“Poppycock, nonsense boy. They’re cowards, they might
as well back up and become women. The army is no place for those sort.”
The wasteland, the setting
Of the story, clay of blood their
Bodies absorbed and soaked.
Before he saw a skull,
Like a mushroom amongst the trench.
Its empty eyes await his future.
Soldiers mangled, decaying bones
Devise the field. Where they fall,
Is where they die.
Forever in unblessed graves they lie.
He trembled, unmoving on the battlefield.
Rifle in hand, eyes twitching
Hearing the howls of dying comrades.
He looked around, where was Billy?
Where was John? They lay at his feet.
Billy’s face was rolled down like a blind,
With teeth through lower lip.
And John’s form torn apart
Arms and legs spumed like vomit.
He heard before he saw.
Like angry wasps they flew.
The metallic insects whistled in their charge.
They stung in clavicle and thigh,
Hissing as tail imbedded in flesh.
Struck down, he fell, arms spread.
Legacy flowed from his wounds,
And spread to drown his friends in red.
Is this how Jesus felt, dying, bleeding
On the cross? His life was remembered,
Dedicated in a book.
But his will never mean as much.
He woke in a hospital, friendless,
Lifeless, a living corpse.
The shoulder strapped and healing.
His leg trimmed at mid thigh,
Left in No Mans Land to rot and die with the lot.
The helpless future he demanded from others,
As he took the title, the Basket Case.
I really loved the lines; 'legacy flowed from his wounds, And spread to drown his friends in red.' Very beautiful language, and the rhyme of 'spread' and 'red', as well as the rhythm created by the even number of eight syllables in that line is extremely satisfying to read. Excellent poem!
ReplyDeleteThis is an amazing poem! Loved the interesting similes and was going to highlight how great the legacy part was but someone has beaten me to it! You definitely have a skill for poetry writing :)
ReplyDeleteThis is a very powerful poem. The emotions conveyed show real sensitivity and mature understanding. You really get under the skin of the soldier and make the reader feel his terror and the horror of the battlefield. I have recently visited the WW1 war graves of two great uncles, slain aged 22 and 23. You have captured the mood so well. How appalling that these petrified men received no sympathy or appropriate treatment, instead, derision and accusations of cowardice. Keep writing, Lydia, you have real ability.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much Mrs Rowlands, this is something I want to pursue at university, and hopefully as a career.
DeleteThank you very much Mrs Rowlands, this is something I want to pursue at university, and hopefully as a career.
DeleteThis is such a perfect poem Lyd, I am literally going to force you to write a book of poetry like this to get published! You've captured the feel of the war so well, the language and everything is so emotional and real and sad and brilliant
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